Crackpots – From Broken to a New Beautiful. I believe that everyone has experienced being wounded at some point in their lives. Some people are a bit more fragile, like a delicate tea cup made of fine porcelain, but even robust stoneware pottery is not impervious to cracking or breaking. Golden Bowl of Light In this busy world of go getters one can rush past the everyday things, the seemingly ordinary, which are often dubbed as pests, weeds or nuisances. I have come to really appreciate my position in life, as a creative and an empathetic person I have cherished the luxury of spending many precious moments observing and appreciating whatever presents itself onto my path. That’s why I collect all sorts of things such as twigs, various seed pods, shells (including egg shells) pebbles, dried flowers, leaves and even tomato stems. These things are often crushed or tossed aside as dead or trash and composted, but as I observe them, hold them, ponder them, I am filled with a sense of awe at the perfection of all Creation. In February one year, while we were going to prepare our greenhouse for planting I discovered that we had not cleared out all of the dead plants from the fall harvest. Sometimes allowing things to happen naturally brings joyful surprises. In this case there were some cucumber leaves that were folded and hanging from the stalk. They were so beautiful and delicate yet with spiky little prickles on them. I loved the golden color and the translucency of the leaves, but also the way in which it was folded. It inspired so many ideas in my mind, like an ethereal echo of a once glorious ball gown or a partially folded, long abandoned fan, a delicate vessel and a plethora of other captivating imaginings came to mind. This is why I keep these kinds of things, they remind me of how everything in life has a purpose, and a longing to be seen. Even those souls among us who cry out without voice, they are the ones who have been cracked and injured. If we look we can see that they are beautiful, and vital to our magnificent human race, appreciate them, love them, nurture them, and as you do you nurture yourself. One tradition of bringing out the best through the brokenness is a practice called Kintsugi. This is a 500 year old Japanese art practice which teaches that broken objects are not something to hide or throw away but they are to be displayed with pride and even to be cherished.Wounds are the cracks in our souls and we recognize those who have been wounded in many different ways. We can touch the abrasions, embrace the imperfections and bring out the natural splendor that lies inside the brokenness. Years ago when I was a young teen in grade 10 our Psychology class went to the “Psych ward” at the hospital. The hallway was long, I remember the shiny floor with the sun streaming in from distant windows at the end of the corridor, it shone so radiantly that it was blinding. Walking down the hallway felt as though I was walking through a display case because each of the patient’s rooms were exposed by the large windowed walls. Inside those windowed walls were beds and people, the entire set-up felt invasive and offensive, I felt it was wrong for us to be peering into their space. Some of the people in those rooms were nurses and doctors and it was strikingly obvious that these people were deemed “broken” in some way. There were flapping arms, rocking back and forth and some just laying still, others were wandering aimlessly or just sitting still staring blankly. I was deeply moved as though nothing else in this world mattered. I had a very difficult time even looking in through the windows because I felt it was intrusive of me to do so and wrong or impolite somehow. My thoughts were soon interrupted because I could hear what was happening inside the hallway with some of my classmates. There was a lot of laughing, a lot of pointing and exclamations about what they saw and worst of all they were speaking about those patients as if they were objects and not human beings and undeserving of respect or even average social etiquette. I felt an enormous amount of shame and sadness, I suddenly stopped walking and could not hold back the tears. When our teacher realized that I wasn’t with the group he came to me and asked why I was crying. I told him that I was embarrassed and ashamed of the other students for laughing, pointing and their insults, mockery and comments. I didn’t know it at that time, but I had been on the receiving end of their cruel behavior and sharp tongues throughout my years in public school—I naturally identified and empathized very readily with the patients. I knew how they must be feeling hurt and rejected and I thought “It’s not their fault!” I wanted to shout it out and make my classmates stop, but I knew it wouldn’t. In the end our teacher assured me that I had no need to cry or be angry at my classmates because as he put it, they laugh and point because they are so uncomfortable that they don’t know how else to respond to that situation. I had never thought of that and it made me realize that even the seemingly “whole” are cracked and broken. Wounds are cracks in our souls and when we see a crack in a wall or in some object, that crack is made visible because it allows the light to shine through. The Kintsugi art practice fills cracks in the clay pottery with gold. Gold is a symbol of wisdom, authority, compassion, radiance, wealth, purity and light. I learned about Kintsugi, filling the cracks of pottery with gold, in the ’90’s while I was attending the Alberta College of Art and Design. Clay is a vulnerable material and there are so many factors that can contribute to cracking and breakages. During those years I would spend the majority of my time making large, fragile, intricate hand-formed and carved vessels. Some of those vessels were large bowls shaped and carved to emulate flowers. The vessel I am sharing here was cracked while being fired and knowing the art of Kintsugi I decided to work with this one and fill the involuntary opening with a vein of ‘gold’ —a reminder of the light. Being a student at that time the only gold I could repair it with was imitation gold paint which was painted onto a type of grout which I lovingly filled into the crack. Does that make it less valuable? No, not in my eyes. It’s been many years since I have been able to work with clay and I have very few pieces left from those days and so I do cherish this bowl. My final thought is let the light shine into your cracks, we all have them and we also possess golden veins of love, compassion and light which connect us all. Next time you see into the cracks of others pour some golden love and light into them, it does us all good. |
“Gratitude” 
heatherdawnfineart 